I wanted to ask you for some advice. Ok, so I have a daughter and my child's father and I are real cool friends most of the time. The problem is that he's an aspiring rapper and he doesn't have a job. Sometimes he asks me for money and I don't feel right giving it to him; which makes me question can we really be friends. I'm the type of person who wants everyone to get along but in this case my family isn't too fond of him. At first they were but at some point in time he has disrespected some loved ones that I really love. I usually will lend a friend money but in this case everyone else is putting this bug in my ear. By him being my child's father they don't think I should do anything for him, nor should he even have the balls to ask me for something in the first place when he doesn't have a job and does nothing for my daughter. Then there are sometimes when we'd be talking and he'll start talking everything he's going to buy for himself when he does get money...I've told him that makes me uncomfortable saying what he's going to get himself and I have his daughter and he's doing nothing for her.
What do I do in this case? Do I treat him like I would a regular friend?
Dear Confused Mother,
You should not be giving him a dime and you need to take him to court for child support and force him to get a job. I have never heard him rap but the odds of him becoming the next Jay-Z or 50 Cent is slim to none because everything is not based on talent. People kill me when they refuse to work a regular job while they try to achieve other goals, whether it be becoming a rapper or actress, starting a new business, or becoming a writer. Bills still have to be paid and, in this case, he has a child. He is taking food out of his own child's mouth by asking you for money and you are cosigning on it. That money can go into a college fund or anything else. That man is not your responsibility because he donated sperm. It is interesting that he talks about all the stuff he is going to buy for himself when he hits it big. What has he said he is going to buy for you and his daughter? Let me guess. Not a damn thing. He is a selfish individual and a user and you need to stop giving him money TODAY. I am serious about the child support thing too. If he does not want to become a man on his own, then force him to become one for your child's sake.