Am I A Lesbian Or Not?

Dear Zane,

I am seventeen years old and a senior in high school. I have been reading your books since September of last year. My mother is the reason that I discovered your books in the first place. She had "Skyscraper" on her dresser, I picked it up and the rest is history.

I have been a sensual and sexual girl ever since I can remember. I am fascinated with sex, sexual relations and such. I was sexually molested when I was thirteen and it ended when I was sixteen. I do not have any trauma related to that; it only increased my sexual awareness. So have your books.

I think that your books have helped me in a huge way to direct me in the right path. I thank you very much for that. Once, I was ashamed of my knowledge and now, I am not. I am coming into my own, which leads me to this: I have just read "Purple Panties" and "Honey Flava", and what was very interesting...I was getting hotter to "Purple Panties" more than I was to "Honey Flava." I would masturbate to "Purple Panties" more, and I was touched (emotionally) by "Purple Panties" more. I am straight....or at least I thought I was. Do you think that I am bi-sexual? I came to you b/c I can't discuss this with my mother. She is constantly asking if I am Gay and I say I am not, and she also hates it if I defend Gay People, we get in the most awful arguments. Zane, I am confused and I just want to know what you think about my situation b/c I will be going out into the big world very soon, and I would like this to have more clarity than what it is now. Thank you so much, Zane

Signed,
Seeking Guidance


Dear Seeking Guidance,

"Purple Panties" is a hot and imaginative book, period, no matter what a person's sexual orientation is. However, it is possible that you are bisexual. Since you have not acted upon it though, that remains to be seen. You are still young and exploring and discovering yourself. That is perfectly normal and I would not be concerned…about that.

I am concerned about your sexual molestation for three years and while you say that you have not suffered any trauma from it, I would suggest that you do talk to someone about it. You are young and something like that can have lifelong ramifications when it comes to sexual understanding and freedom. I would hate to see you, several years down the road, trying to cope with the past because you attempted to play so nonchalant about it now. If your molester was female, that could have something to do with you being bi-curious. My assumption is that your molester was male though. That also could be the reason why you are more turned on by the thought of being with females or rather, the thought of not being with men.

Your mother has her hang-ups about gays and you have to live with it. Everyone is a culmination of everything they have ever been taught or experienced. Even though homosexuality is more much accepted in today's society than the past, it will never be embraced by everyone. That is simply not going to happen.

Take care of you and seriously consider talking to someone about what happened, even if it is a guidance counselor at school.

Blessings,
Zane