Friday, November 28, 2008

Trying To Get Serious Too Soon

Dear Zane,

I hope you are doing good. Well, I'm back to asking for advice again. I met this guy on the internet he emailed me through yahoo personals and found me on MySpace. We have been talking for about a month (I know it's a very short time). I already met him; he stays not far from Chicago. Well anyway, I went to his place and everything was fine. He made me feel really comfortable and just chilled. Well he is a masseuse so before I went there, I asked him to give me a massage so he said that he will do it when I see him. When I got there, he gave me a very good massage but I was so curios about him that I led him to have sex with me (PROTECTED OF COURSE) although it was unexpected, I must say it was good for that small length of time. So anyway, he has a 13yr son that lives with him and he doesn't communicate with the mother according to what he says and he has also been single for 2yrs too. He has been at his job for 11yrs and has his own place. I also work, go to school and my own place. I really want to spend time with him but our schedules are kind of complicated but I'm willing to see how things work out for us.

He has hinted that he wants to get into a relationship and I don't want to jump on it like it's the last thing on earth. I said that I want to be in a relationship and think he is the one so far. We talk every day and at this moment he can't see me because his license is suspended until next yr due to an accident. Anyway I don't mind taking that hour ride to see him because I like traveling anyway. I just haven't traveled in a long time. Well a little more about him: he's 34, I'm 28, he's quiet so far as I have seen and heard and very affectionate. I told him that I apologize for leading him to having sex with me; he said he wasn't expecting it either but he said it was good too. I told him that I like him and would like to be around him more and take it to the next level. He said that we will see. I'm not rushing him at all. But I feel this sudden urgency of wanting to see him more. It's been a very long time (years) since I have felt this way towards a guy.So my question to you is what a female to do about this? By the way I Haven't been on the dating scene in a long time and the way people choose to have sex as a priority, it's really hard to find a guy to really get to know. I know you won't be able to get to this message soon but I'll wait and look forward to your response.

What Should I Do

Dear What Should I Do,

Maybe it is just me but I do not see any issues with your current situation, other than you are trying to rush nature and matters a little too much. The two of you have come a long way in the span of one month. You are feeling him and he is feeling you and there is nothing wrong with that. Do not have any great expectations and go with the flow. He seems to be on the same level as you, work-wise and success-wise. You have an urgency to see him because you like him but do not interject himself into his life so quickly. He said that he wants to see where it goes so relax and see what happens.



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