When Your Man Admits He Is Not Good Enough For You

Dear Zane,

First, let me say that I am loving the show so much that I am having dreams of having the best sex with the man of my dreams, but I can never see his face. That goes into my story. I have known this guy for two years now. I met him on MySpace and since then, he has been on my mind strong. I have met his family and they have taken me in as if I am was a part of them. Now, after two year, I have been asking him why we are not an official couple yet.

Oh, let me tell you, he lives about an hour and an half away from me and he has no car so I drive that distance almost three or four times a week to see him. He also has no job but that has only been for the past month, and he lives with his brother. Anyway, I asked him why we are not together and he says it is because he does not feel like he is man enough to be with anyone at this moment. I can respect that but then, at the same time, he says that he cares about me and that I am a good woman and that he does not want to lose me in his life. I am so confused because my heart says to stick it out and wait until he gets what he needs but my brain says I am crazy. He does nothing for me as a woman and he cannot do anything and waiting for a man that is not showing you that he is working toward those things is stupid. I love this man so much but I don’t know what to do.

Signed,
Ms. Confused


Dear Ms. Confused,

You already know that your situation is ridiculous. Even though he has only been out of work for a month, you have too much going for you to be with someone who admits that he is not man enough to be in a relationship. Most men will not admit that and think they are a prize. At least he recognizes that having you drive that far several times a week when he has zero to offer you is not fair.

I understand that you care about him but after two years, he should be able to do offer something to this union, even if that means having a car to come see you sometimes. Women should not expect men to carry them financially but men should be able to take care of themselves.

You made an unwise choice by getting involved with him in the first place, and now your feelings are caught up. Love means a lot but it is not everything and he is sending you all kinds of hints, without coming flat out and saying that this can never work. I do not profess to know all the details but you would not have emailed me if your gut instincts were not telling you to end it. The only question is how much more of your life do you instead to waste on a dead end.

Blessings,
Zane