Sunday, November 23, 2008

In Love With An Older Thug

Dear Zane,

I am a fan of all your books. You keep it one hundred and that is what I like about your thoughts. It consists of real issues that our people face on a daily basis, but now let’s get to the real reason for my writing to you.

I am a 22-year-old young, beautiful lady. I have no kids and I currently am in college for real estate. I make my own money and have been taking care of myself since I was seventeen and living by myself since I was nineteen. I am a loner and have always been that way. I figure that is the best way to be, with all the drama these days.

I have been seeing this man for about six months and I am very attracted to him, emotionally, spiritually, physically, and sexually. He keeps me satisfied both under and on top of the sheets. We do not live together but he does pay most of my bills. He is not stingy at all; he’s definitely a bread breaker. As a matter of fact, before we decided to make it official, he paid a stack for this pussy-LOL. But there are a few things I am having a problem with. He stays out all night long, selling his cookies and cakes—drugs. He loves the club life. We cannot ever go anywhere on the weekends because he always wants to be at the club. I do not have a problem that he wants to go out. It is just that I feel, when you get to a certain age, you should be through with the club scene. By the way, he is thirty-two. That is my other issue…his age. I have always been attracted to older men but he is the oldest guy that I have been with. Our relationship is good, but definitely could be a lot better.

My thing is that I have a trust issue and by him being a lot older, I feel like in certain situations, he does not see me as a woman. I feel like those weekends that he is claiming to be making money, he is cheating because the guys he hangs out with are known for being dogs. I want to trust him fully but it is very difficult. One of the main things my mother taught me is that you are the company you keep and she also taught me to follow my heart. My heart is telling me that he cannot be trusted. Zane, do you think I am paranoid?


Dear Confused,

Honestly, your man cheating on you is the least of my concerns for you. You seem like a bright young lady who has learned to fend for herself and you are getting an education. Why on earth would you jeopardize all of that for this man? He is a drug dealer who hangs out all night and basically pays you for sex and you put up with it. Your mother is right, you are the company that you keep so what is your involvement with him saying about you and your morality.

Too many young ladies feel it is exciting to be a ride or die chick but will you feel so great when the police come knocking at your door waving a pair of handcuffs. If they trace five cents of his drug proceedings back to you, your ass is grass.

Trust your gut instincts. You know he is cheating and part of the reason is because of how you allowed him to step to you in the first place. I am going to prayer that you have an eye opening revelation and save yourself while you still have a chance.



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