When You Get Pregnant, He Gets Angry

Dear Zane,

I was wondering if you could help me out with this situation. I already know what I should do, but I would like someone else's opinion. My boyfriend and I have been arguing a lot since I found out that I was pregnant. He has completely changed, he drinks a lot and when he gets drunk, he says mean and hurtful things to me. He will say things like our baby will not like me; he even took it as far as saying that he doesn't think the baby is his because I have been distant. I have been distant from him only because he says mean and hurtful things to me, and he just wants to argue and I don't have time for that and I have told him that. He had the nerve to ask for a blood test, which I agreed to once the baby is born. I have not cheated on him and he will look like a fool once the baby is born, he told me that he wants the baby to be with him because he doesn't want to pay child support. Is this fool crazy or what? What do you think I should do?

Thanks,
Woman Wanting Your Advice

Dear Woman Wanting Your Advice,

Yes, you do know what you should do. He is stressing you out when you are pregnant and that is showing a disregard for not only your health but for the health and welfare of your child. His actions cannot be tolerated because you are putting too much at risk. It seems to me that he is definitely not ready to be a father but he has no option in the matter. However, that does not mean that he has to subject you to nonsense, nor should you let him.

It amazes me to hear young men claim that they are too young to be fathers when they laid down and had sex with the young women. He has resorted to drinking and that is also a bad thing because if he develops a dependency on alcohol, that can ruin his entire life and make it impossible to provide for his child.

What I would do is this: I would sit him down and explain to him that while you can understand his feelings of fear and insecurity, you must protect yourself and the offspring that you share together. Like you already told him, you will be delighted to have a blood test but make him realize that he has thrown a monkey wrench into any possible chance of the two of you remaining a couple by his antics, his cruelty and his insinuations. If he continues to act a fool, tell him to do it somewhere else and you will give him a call when you are in labor.

Blessings,
Zane