Friday, November 28, 2008

Trying to Find Something Wrong For No Reason

Dear, Ms. Zane:

First, I would like to start off by saying that I love your work and you are extremely talented and may God bless you in all that you do.My problem is that, for once in my life it seems like someone truly likes me and wants to build on something with me, but it seems that I always seem to find a negative in this person when we only have spoken to one another for a minimum of two weeks, when we are still getting to know one another. This is all new to me and I explained that to him, (I have never been in a relationship). And it seems that I just try to find something wrong with him so in my mind that would make me disinterested when I think that I am indeed interested in him. I don't want to rush into anything, and I do at least want to give it a try, but I am confused, nervous, and at times a lost cause on the emotional part because I don't want to be hurt, but I don't want him to lose his interest in me. However, I know that with every relationship, whether new or old, it comes with challenges and trials and tribulations. But I don't know whether to expect anything or not. Please help me.

Signed,
In Need of Advice


Dear In Need of Advice,
I understand that you are scared. In some ways, we all are. After all, our hearts are our most precious commodity and by placing it in someone else’s hands, they can either nurture it or attempt to destroy it. But you have to give love a chance, or you will never find it. Do not make up reasons to shoot a man down before things even get a chance to evolve. Sure a lot of relationships end. Hell, most of them end, but some do last a lifetime.

When you first start dating someone, you are not making a lifetime commitment. You are simply testing the waters and the only way you can do that is by getting to know a person. Do not create reasons in your head to disqualify men because you are in protect mode. Take a chance but take it slow.

Blessings,
Zane

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