Friday, November 28, 2008

In Love With An Immature Man

Dear Zane,

First I would like to start off with good morning.Here is my problem. I have been in my relationship for almost five years. My boyfriend is 4 years younger than me and very immature. He gets mad at me for petty things and won't talk to me for days. I have 3 children that he 100% takes care of (he is not their biological dad). I want to leave because I can't take it anymore but there are too many people involved. My children, him, and myself. He is good to me when he isn't acting stupid. It’s his behavior that’s making me want to leave. He is lazy and very immature. Please advise. Thank you.

Ready to Give Up

Dear Ready to Give Up,

If this were a fly by night relationship, I would tell you to get rid of him but five years is a long time for you, him and your kids to get used to each other. If the only issue is his immaturity, you simply need to put your foot down and make him realize that he is putting your family at risk. If that does not hit home with him, you may have to issue him an ultimatum and be prepared to carry it out if he shows his ass.

Not speaking to you for days is unacceptable. Harping on petty things is also unacceptable. Sit him down and tell him that you love him and are committed to him but that you need him to step up to the plate and be a real man in every way. Tell him that you need him to set a good example for the children and that you do not want them growing up in a dysfunctional environment where they see their parents not speaking and going at it over silly things.
I wish you the best.


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