Saturday, November 15, 2008

Should You Leave When The Attraction Leaves?

Dear Zane,

I am 24-year-old female who has been in a 4-year relationship. I love my boyfriend very dearly but I’m not at all sexually attracted to him anymore. Whenever he does try to have sex with me, I pull away and put up a fight. I really don’t see us progressing, but I kind of don’t want to let him go. He is the best man for any woman. This man worships the ground that I walk on. But yet I just can’t have sex with him anymore. I feel that we need space from each other but I really don’t know how to tell him. I have never been single for a long period of time, so I’m kind of afraid to be alone. Please, Zane, advise me how I should tell him or if I should even tell him. PLEASE POST TO YOUR BLOG FOR OTHER'S ADVICE. Thanks.

Very Confused

Dear Very Confused,

The first thing you need to do is put yourself in your man’s shoes. After a four-year relationship, how would you feel if he suddenly “put up a fight” when you tried to seduce him. What does that mean? Put up a fight? I hope you are not stating that literally. Before you even said that you were afraid to be alone, I had already come to that conclusion. You are staying with him for all the wrong reasons, just so you can claim to have a man, and that is totally messed up. You need to let him go and find someone else to love him the same way he is capable of loving. If he is the best man for any woman, let him go be that to someone else and stop waiting for karma to ram its foot up your ass.

Being single is not always a bad thing, especially when the alternative is a toxic, unhealthy, for the hell of it relationship. Not everyone is meant to be in our lives forever. You are still young and people change and grow apart. Do not continue to play with fire. Besides, as long as he is still with you, you cannot be free to seek a new love, outside of cheating and that never turns out good.


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