I am a very big fan. I have all of your books and I am writing to ask for your suggestion. I know you are not a counselor or anything but your books make me feel like you can give me an answer. I have a man that I have been with for six years. I love him dearly and we have a son together. All of this time, it has never crossed my mind to cheat on him, even though I have been with him since I was fourteen. He cheated on me once and I was going to kill him. I really cannot picture myself with another guy, but since I started this job, I met this one girl and I think she is so sexy. I told that I just want to experience something new and I do not know if she is taking things extremely slow because she knows my boyfriend or because she has a girlfriend. Even though she has told me that it will happen in due time, she keeps telling me to take things slow. Now that I am getting feelings for her, I guess he has not noticed because he is a much sweeter person than he was before. I am starting to feel like I really should not be falling for this girl. Any suggestions? If you do not respond, I understand.
All Eyes On Her
Dear All Eyes on Her,
Here are my thoughts. There are numerous reasons why you need to get over this young lady and quick. First of all, she knows your man. Secondly, the two of you work together and if and when things go sour, it could cost your career. Thirdly, cheating could lead to the demise of your relationship with a man who is the father of your kids and who you have been with since childhood. Fourth, you are not simply talking about having sex with her. You are expressing feelings toward her, as if you are contemplating having two serious relationships or dumping your man for her. She is involved, she is flirting with you but if she really wanted to be with you, she would have made it happen. A lot of people like “fans” and string people along for various reasons; either to make themselves feel good or to avoid hurting someone’s feelings.
It is okay to fantasize about other women but what you are doing it way beyond that and it is a very dangerous game. Leave it alone.