Friday, November 28, 2008

To Online Date or Not

Dear Zane,

I enjoy the anonymous blogs that you share with your readers; thank you very much for those. And you can post mine in the same fashion.

I have been going back and forth about deciding whether or not online dating is a good way to find a mate for a meaningful relationship. I'm 24 and have never been in an actual relationship. I've talked to maybe 6 guys and had sex with only 2 of them. The second of the 2 I met through MySpace and we started out having great conversation. Shortly after we met in person it all went downhill, mainly b/c this dude had a lot of bad luck on his end. I stopped talking to him when I realized that he refused to friend me on MySpace. I just felt like he had something to hide. And then, just last week I was chatting it up with another guy on here and gave him my number. But when he called, I just wasn't feeling his vibe, and he was talking all kinds of nonsense about black women. Do you think a lot of men on here are on here just to see who they can "hook-up" with? I saw somewhere when you wrote back your advice to someone in another blog that women fall for what they hear and men fall for what they see...the more I think about it, the more true it is. I think men see a pretty girl in the pics so they send messages saying "you look like a nice girl" and "I just wanna get to know you" and sometimes I can't help but think that they're running game. What is your opinion?

To Online Date or Not

Dear To Online Date or Not,

I believe that the Internet has made “running game” a lot easier because most of the sites are nothing more than online meat markets. Solid and long term relationships are destroyed because of the temptation. It is a breeze to set up potential lovers from coast to coast without even leaving your home and you can do it in your pajamas. A lot of people-particularly women-are so desperate for love that as soon as a man sends them an email or leaves a comment, they are ready to get involved.

Here is the thing. A lot of women feel obligated to talk to every single man who shows interest in them, genuine or not. Men realize that and often take advantage of it. I believe that there are good men in the world and thus, good men on the Internet, but you have to use your common sense to weed them out. The men that you have met thus far were not right for you but you will and have surely met men in real life who fall into the same category. Proceed with caution with any of them and do not rush into anything or tie up your feelings. While that can be a lot easier said than done, it is essential.

The great part about the Internet is that if someone approaches you that you do not want to be bothered with, it is so easy to block them from contacting you or from harassing you. In real life, you may have to take out a restraining order.



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