Friday, November 28, 2008

Getting Him To Make Time For You

Dear Zane,

I have this coworker who likes me. We chilled together twice and each time we slept together. I really like him a lot. I feel like the feeling is mutual. I’m 29 and he's 39, and my nose is wide open. I have herpes and he accepted that and we have protected ourselves and I feel this attachment because one, we were friends first and two, he accepted my disease and didn’t judge me.

The thing is we were supposed to get together on three different occasions and he didn’t come through, which left me disappointed. We still have our friendship and we talk but I don’t know. Should I keep trying to get him to come and chill with me or should I just leave it alone? I’m confused. It’s not like I want him to be my man. I’m not ready for that type of commitment. I want to tell him how I feel but I can’t find the time because he makes plans to come over but never shows. He says he becomes tired, which I understand because he does work two jobs. I just don’t want to have that conversation at work.

Getting Him To Make Time For Me

Dear Getting Him To Make Time For Me,

You should leave it alone. He is trying to be polite but if he really wants to spend time with you, two jobs or not, he will at some point initiate that happening. Even though you work together, he is making it clear that he wants no more than that. The two of you slept together twice and it is great that he accepted your herpes but you have to protect yourself in another way now. You need to protect your heart since this is a man that you have to be around at work regardless.
You have extended him the opportunity to come and be with you and he has consistently not made the effort, even after saying that he would. You need to let this go before it escalates and makes working together impossible.


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