Too Good to Be True

Dear Zane,

I recently met a guy over the summer; we became an official couple a couple of weeks ago. It’s amazing, how much of a gentlemen he is. He respects me, offers to do things for me, buys me gifts, wants me to travel with him, and he wants me to meet his parents. I have never had a man do one-third of what he does/wants to do for me. I’ve always done for myself and now that he wants to do so much for me, I don’t know how to accept things from him without feeling guilty or wondering if I should pay him back.

I have always prayed for “Mr. Right” and most people told me that I have been so scorned from all the “fuck niggaz” that when Mr. Right did come along, I would not know what to do. They were right. A decent, respectful man has walked into my life and I am clueless. He constantly asks me if I trust him and while my trust grows weekly, I always have my guard up. In all honestly, I am scared; it all seems too good to be true. I do not want to lose him but I do not want another broken heart. What do I do?

Signed,
2 Gud 2 B True

Dear 2 Gud 2 B True,

What you do is enjoy his attention and take things slowly. No one wants another broken heart. That is the tricky thing about relationships. Every time we enter one, we are giving the other person the opportunity to either nurture our greatest asset or attempt to squeeze the life out of it. 99% of failed relationships started out special with everything being the sun, the moon and the stars. That is definitely the case with most marriages. But things happen, people change, circumstances come into play. If you ever want to feel love, you have to be willing to give it. The man has done nothing suspect so go along for the ride. He might literally be your “Mr. Right” so do not mess things up because things are going too well.

Trust does have to be acquired; that is a fact. You need to reciprocate all the attention, intimacy, and communication he is giving to you. There are good men out here, despite what it looks like from all the drama we see every day. There are men who are seeking real love and not trying to hop from bed to bed to see how many notches they can get on their belt. Sooner or later, that should get old anyway. Live each day like a gift, appreciate it and appreciate him.

Blessings,
Zane