Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Should One Act on Temptation?

Dear Zane,

Here is the situation, well possible situation. I am wondering if I should act on it. I was married for 6 years, my ex has a best friend (they barely talk now). While we were married, I met his best friend after years of hearing them talk and even chit chatting once or twice over the phone. To my surprise, there was instant chemistry. I was hoping it was just felt by me and that I could just shake it off. I began trying to hook him up with my best girlfriend, mostly so I would never be tempted. Now, years later and divorced, we (the ex's best friend and I) keep up with each other. He is off again, on again with my best girlfriend. We have never done anything and I have never told him that I felt something and always wondered what could be. I've never told my girlfriend either.

OK, so my mind tells me that a relationship with him would be just plain wrong on SOOOOO many levels. But what if it would be great for us? Should I even pursue this? He has been nothing but a friend, offering a place to stay for my son and me, if we ever travel in his direction. He offered again this coming January when I relocate but I will be without my son, it would just be me and him. Should I just keep it friendly or see what develops? Take a chance?

Don't want to hurt the other people involved

Dear Don’t Want to Hurt The Other People Involved,

You should keep it friendly. You are wrong on a ton of levels and nothing good could come from this. Your best friend has been with this man for years, at your suggestion. Do not turn this into a Jerry Springer segment. A lot of women find themselves attracted to mates of their friends, but real friends never act on it. In fact, most women would never even contemplate it. You are in a unique situation because you got to know him outside of him being her man, because he was best friends with your ex-husband. Thus he is nice to you, willing to help you out, and he is being a friend. There is not a guarantee that he would even go for it, and if he does, he is pure pit. You would be a fool to get with a man who would cheat on his woman of many years with her best friend, not to mention the ex-wife of one of his buddies; even if they have not spoken lately.
Since you are relocating there, you need to get yourself in check quick. Get over that temptation and meet some other men there, but leave your friend’s man alone and let them work out their issues.


1 comment:

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