Sunday, December 28, 2008

When Your Child's Other Parent Is Jealous of You

Dear Zane,

I want to know if you ever came across a man who admits to his baby’s momma that he is extremely jealous of her? My baby’s father and I broke up seven months ago and he called me up tonight and told me the reason he flips out when we have a disagreements, starts calling me all kinds of names and makes me feel worthless is because he is extremely jealous because my son and I have a strong bond. My son cries with him because he left me when my son was six months old. I don’t know; that’s weird for him to say that he is jealous of me. What do you think?

Just Wondering

Dear Just Wondering,

I have never really thought about it but in actuality, it probably happens quite often. If a man leaves his woman and children for the proverbial greener pastures, he has made the decision not to be there full-time with his family. Thus, for a man to expect his relationship to be as strong as the one with the mother is kind of ridiculous; especially when the child is still an infant or toddler.

He may also be on the attack because he realizes that he would have been better off staying put, being a committed man to you, and a live-in father. If you have managed to make it without him, that is probably even more of an issue. Some men think that if they leave, the sky will somehow fall in the woman’s life and she will feel like she is being punished. Rarely is that the case.
At least he admitted it and now my only suggestion is that you try to encourage him to spend more time with the child so he can get used to him.


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