Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Trapped in Serial Monogamy

Dear Zane,

Question for you and your readers: How does someone choose to be single or celibate? I am not single by choice but I need to be single to work on me. I have found myself moving from one unfulfilling relationship to another like an addiction. I have not gone a week without sex since when I was married. How do I enjoy just being alone? I've gotten into some self-help books but lonely and horny does not seem to go away by listening to someone tell me to love myself. So, how do I enjoy being single? What steps should I take to try celibacy? I think I need emotional cleansing but being with someone, anyone is like an addiction.

Trapped in Serial Monogamy

Dear Trapped in Serial Monogamy,

You have fallen into a trap that a lot of men and women fall into. Some feel like they have to constantly be dating or sleeping with someone to feel whole. This can often backfire because when your life is constantly filled with people in your space, Mr. Right might not even be able to darken your doorstep, rather less get inside. My suggestion is that you try to find something else to fill the void. Not forever but just long enough for you to work on yourself, since that is your wish. I have had to take a step back and do that before; to make sure that I was relationship material myself before I sought out one.

It will be interesting to see what others have to say because a lot of people have taken a vow of celibacy and/or have decided to remain single.


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