Sunday, December 28, 2008


The below question raises a good topic. When people get meet someone long distance and talk on the phone, email, text, etc. but have never laid eyes on them in person, do you consider that a relationship? What is your definition of a relationship?

Dear Zane,

I recently was involved in a long distance relationship for 3 months. We had made plans to meet next month and talked every day since we met. We even talked about one another relocating. On Christmas day, I got a call from his girlfriend of 6 months. Turns out OF COURSE, he LIED to both of us. I didn’t yell at the woman, but I was VERY upset. I spent my whole holiday crying. I won’t accept any of his phone calls because I don’t know what to do or say. What should I do next?


Dear Stuck,

You are not stuck, nor were you in a relationship for that matter. A relationship is not one where you have never laid eyes on the person. You need to read the chapter on long distance relationships in my book Dear G Spot. Now if you were long distance and had been traveling back and forth on a regular basis, gotten to know each other, were intimate and you knew him like the back of your hand, that might be a relationship.

You are setting yourself up for more drama if you ever take another call from that man. What would be the purpose behind it, other than listening to a pack of lies? What you should do is get down on your knees and thank your lucky stars that you were saved from making a drastic mistake. We are often sent signs to let us know that something is wrong. You were not sent a flag. You were banged upside the damn head. Now if the woman he has been dealing with for six months wants to think that by calling you and deflecting you will make him faithful, let her be the fool. You need to get all the crying out and never put yourself in that place again. Once you find yourself crying over a man because he did something to hurt you, you need to wake up and smell the coffee.



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A relationship with emotional and physical closeness, that may involve sexuality or may come close to sexual expression, when desired.There is no aspiration to long-term commitment and no expectation of exclusivity.


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