Star Struck and Dogged Out

Dear Zane,

I met this guy about a year ago and I was star struck. I have never met someone like him before. I was so scared to go up to him. I waited four months before going up to him. In the time being I was messing around with this other guy and I got pregnant. During this time the guy that I wanted to talk with, we started to talk and everything. During the month of December things started to get good, but at the same time I was with child and I thought that by me having a child this guy would not talk with me.

To make a long story short he went with me to the doctor to get an abortion. After everything was done he still wanted to be with me. The day of the abortion he asked me to be his girlfriend. I was so excited to be his girlfriend. Every time we saw each other was like magic, and we even spent New Year’s with each other. I love spending every moment with him. We would do everything together; dates, breakfast, lunch. I look forward to our dates. Everything is going good.

Until we move in together and everything seemed so different. I wanted to be with him even more even when we were living together. He is the most honest guy I have ever been with, and he has never cheated. Everyone told me how lucky I was and everything. When he started to go home with family or hanging out with his friends, I wanted him to call just to let me know how he was doing and everything. I thought the entire time that he was with some other girl and the whole time he was not. I would always accuse him of doing this and that when he was faithful to me the whole time.

Until one day he came home and told me that he did not want to be with me anymore, and there was nothing that could be done. I really love him and I was trying my best to work things out for him. He tells me that he does not see us ever getting back together and that’s hurts me so bad. He tells me that we can be friends. He tells me that I will always have a special place in his heart. We still go to the movies and we still sleep in the same bed and we still have sex. Also on his profile we are still listed as a couple. I try every time to ask him if we are ever going to get back together and he tells me no. Sometimes he does not even look at me anymore. And it really hurts. I have been pretending to be another girl, texting him and writing him. At first he wanted to know who she was; now he does not even care. I really want to ask him to spend New Year’s but I’m afraid of what he is going to say. Please tell me what I should do? I really want to work things out with him. The reason why I’m trying so hard is this guy is really a good person, friend and even good in the bedroom. It’s so much more than that. I don’t know what to do please help.

Signed,
Star Struck

Dear Star Struck,

He sounds foolish. How can he state in one breath that he does not want to be with you anymore and nothing could be done and, in the next breath, still be living with you and sleeping with you. He is with you, for all intents and purposes but I am assuming what he is saying is that he is looking for his next woman and fucking you until he finds her. Men kill me with this nonsense.
I have heard men say that they were not cheating on their women when they got with someone new because the relationship had “been over” but yet they were still married, living together, or dating just like from the get-go. You can try all you want but unless he is on the same page, you are wasting your time and no matter how great you think Mr. Wonderful is, a real man would not do what he is doing. If he does not want you, he would not be there. If he wants to move on, he would not be sleeping with you.

You need to make immediate arrangements to get away from him because he honestly sounds mentally unstable to me. Either that or he is truly foolish. No matter what, he is not for you and for you to bend over backwards to deal with someone who does not want you will only lead to more heartbreak. Once you find yourself driven to the point of playing silly games like texting him pretending to be someone else, it is time to move on. He is nobody’s star.

Blessings,
Zane