Okay I have been kind of skeptical about writing you but, I do believe that you can help me. Well, in November of last year, I had my second boyfriend in high school. I was a sophomore and he was a freshman. I met him through my best friend’s boyfriend. Well in that month we went on a date and it was the best night of my life. I mean he is a great kisser, seeing that I only kissed him once. But any who, that night I kind of led him into asking me out and we both were happy or so it seemed.
The next day at school I was all happy because I had a boyfriend and I told everyone at school. When I got home from school he called me and said that he wanted to come over. I told him no, I didn’t think it was such a good idea. Then later on that night he told me that he didn’t think it was such a good idea for us to be together. I told him that I wasn’t mad and it was cool but I realized that I was mad. So I called him back and told him that it would be embarrassing if I go to school the next day saying that I don’t have a boyfriend anymore. And also that it hurts me too. The actual situation he was having was that he was talking to this girl before I met him and she was hurt to know that we were going out. So he broke up with me. And I was hurt.But since then we have kept in touch even though he had a girlfriend. And he cheated on her countless times and he tried to make me one of the girls that were an accomplice in this action. But I was smarter than that and decided otherwise. Now don’t get me wrong. I wanted to but I’m not going to be the OTHER woman. I will be the ONLY woman. Okay do you feel me?
This little thing with us has gone on for a year and now he doesn’t has a girlfriend. Oh and that girl, she talked so much smack about me, like I was trying to take him from her. It wasn’t even like that; he was trying to give himself to me. Not like that though; I am a virgin and he is too. This also draws me to him. But now he is single and he keeps flirting with me. Now I love that but I’m not sure that I want him to be my boyfriend. I really do like him, maybe even love, but I just don’t think that I want him like that. I mean mentally he is not the best thing for me. But physically he is. I don’t know what to do. Please help me.
Physically in Love
Dear Physically in Love,
Your signature says it all. When it comes down to the mental and physical in a relationship, anyone can really deliver physical pleasure but a mental and emotional connection is much harder to find. There are times in life, and there will probably be many in yours, when too much damage is done early on in a situation to ever backtrack. There will be men who you are feeling that are not good for you and if you give into the physical attraction knowing that, it will only cause you heartache in the end.
Granted, he has not had sex with someone else, nor have you but being that he put you off for so long while he went off and pursued other girls does not make him the one, in my opinion, that you should lose your most precious gift to. He had a choice back then and he broke things off with you to appease another girl. Yes, he made you second fiddle and that is not cool. For you to now say, okay, I will now take a turn after you did your thing makes you look weak. Women should never look weak and give men the upper hand.
Please continue your education and leave yourself free to find someone else. While his intentions may be genuine now, too much has happened and you will always wonder if you are a consolation prize.