Wednesday, December 3, 2008

God, Sex and Love

Dear Zane,

I would like to tell you how much I love your books! You are an inspiration to me and my group of friends... WE LOVE YOU!!! [SHAME ON IT ALL WAS THE BOMB !]

Well, I am a 20 year old woman and I'm so stuck it is unbelievable. I am a strong believer in GOD and JESUS. I am trying my best to have a personal relationship with the Lord and so far I've had my ups and downs but he's never steered me wrong. The problem is ME, my SEX DRIVE and my longing to be loved by a man. The Bible says not to fornicate and I really been trying and so far, I've only had sex once this year with someone I had been seeing for 6 months. My thing is, I want LOVE, I want to be touched, but I don't want to go against what GOD says for me to do. It’s a constant battle every day! And it seems like now that I have given my life to GOD, more men want me sexually than before and it’s very hard to resist when you have an attractive man by your side with his lips on your neck! So my question is, should I not date? Most men are looking to get sex before they get married and that’s something I'm trying hard not to do. Or... should I continue to date, tell the man that I'm celibate and risk heartache each and every time?? I’m lost.... HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!GOD BLESS-

Christian Lover

Dear Christian Lover,

It would be an understatement to say that you are not alone. There are tons of people with your same issue and only you can decide how much you really believe that fornication is a greater sin compared to other sins. All of us are sinners, even if we try to live our lives right.

Your sexuality is a part of your being. All of us got here because someone had sex and without sex, mankind would not exist. You are right, most men today are not going to forgo sex and be in a committed relationship without it. However, there are men who are in the same boat as you and I suggest you seek them out. Maybe your church has a singles group who believe in abstinence. I know for a fact that there are Christian singles dating web sites.

The bottom line is you have to make a personal choice but you cannot impose your beliefs and decisions on another person. Either you will find a man who will cosign on it or you will live your life for the Lord and be single. The only other option is for you to give into your natural feelings and have sex. But realize that we live in an age where more women will never be married in their lifetime than ever. Thus, are you prepared to go your entire life without sex? If you answer is yes, then that is a lovely thing.

Blessings,
Zane

2 comments:

sassy said...

I was finally able to view the show. However, after watching a few episodes, including the interview with you and Suzanne de Passe, I became concerned and annoyed. I am a Beautiful BBW and am shocked that there is no representation of "real" women on this program. I thought surely that since you, yourself are not a "size-six-model-chick" that real women would have been represented in some way shape or form. All of the women on this program are almost "Barbie" wannabes. This is not a true or accurate portrayal of the average, intelligent, woman of today's society.

Disappointed.

Meesha said...

I agree with Sassy. I felt the same way abou the show Girlfriends, it was a positive image of black women, but the body type did not represent all black women. I like Waiting To Exhale, sohwing diffent shades, ages, and sizes of black women in different situations. Zane, you've got to do something to appeal to the regular average size 12, 14, 16 and up sistas.