Will I Ever Find Love

Dear Zane,

I must tell you that I am one of your biggest fans, I love that you have brought Sex Chronicles to life on Cinemax. I think as a black author of erotica, you have made great strides in the African American community. I love reading your novels and I love how you like no one else brings to life the fantasies that many people have but are afraid to express.

I have this dilemma with a guy I thought I was in love with. He was a guy I met through a friend, and I must say since he was in the military he was gone a lot. I have only seen him once........but since we initially met we kept in touch through writing, emailing, texting, etc. It’s crazy I know but we actually fell for each other or maybe it was just all in my head, but he was never honest, I found out things about him through my friend, and you know it seems like typical male behavior to lie and turn everything into your fault. I have dated other guys since then, but I feel like I can't get over him for some reason. He seems to always be in the picture somehow, but how do I rid myself of him emotionally, so that I can move on? I ask myself so many times, too, as well because I'm still a virgin, and I wonder to myself, will I ever find love, to know what it is like to be loved by someone honestly and truly, and it be reciprocated back??

Signed,
Will I Ever Find Love



Dear Will I Ever Find Love,

Yes, you will find it, but first you must define it. Some women define love as great sex, even if the man is disrespectful, a cheater, and lazy. Some women define love as being taken care of with diamonds and fancy cars. Some women define love as a mutual respect, compassion, and an open line of communication.

You are young and please do not allow one bad apple to spoil the bunch. All of us find ourselves wondering if love is just a myth, something outside of our grasp. The key is to take your time and find the right companion. God does not place people in our lives when we ask for them but when they are supposed to be there. Keep an open mind and explore the possibilities but I am proud of you for recognizing the distrust in this young man. It takes some women well into their forties or fifties to wake up.

Blessings,
Zane