Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Can You Get Too Close Too Soon?

Dear Zane,

You are my favorite author. I love the way that you put so much feeling and emotion into your writing. My favorite would have to be Addicted. To this day, that is the only book that I have read over and over without becoming tired of it.

I met a guy about four months ago and now we are really good friends. I am confused because we have had sex and our chemistry is outstanding, but I cannot seem to see where this is going. I do not want to waste any time or emotion on something that really is not there. I feel so comfortable when I am around him and he has made it very easy for me to open up to him about everything. I feel like I cannot let him go completely because we have gotten so close. That may also be our downfall. Do you think that getting too close so soon is a bad thing? Lately, I feel as though he is drifting away. I must admit that I am a little worried. Could I possibly be suffocating him?

Lost and Confused

Dear Lost and Confused,

I believe that you have a commitment issue, even if you do not recognize it. You have probably been hurt in the past and are trying to invent an issue where one does not exist. If this man makes you feel good, if he makes you feel comfortable, and things are moving along great, you need to go with the flow. You gave no reason to believe that he feels suffocated. Unless his actions are saying that, do not make assumptions about his feelings. If you are really worried, ask him if you think things are moving too fast. Believe it or not, there are many men in this world who are ready to settle down and want to move quickly. If he wants to cut back, he will. If he wants to walk away, he will. Do not start acting differently to encourage that. He is feeling you. Feel him back.


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