I love your work. I am writing to you because I need some advice. You do not even have to post this to your subscribers…I just need you to help me. My dude’s ex keeps hitting him up, even though he has made it clear that he does not want to keep in contact with her. He wants our relationship to continue to grow without our exes being in contact with us. We agreed; we do not need the baggage. We have been best friends for more than ten years and then we finally got together this year. We both understand the outcome if we allow these people to stay around. My ex knows what’s up, Zane. He stays away but this girl is a bug-a-boo. There is always something wrong with her and my man is supposedly the only one that can help her. Help me because I am getting ready to hit her up personally and give her a piece of my mind.
Miss Ready to Step
Dear Miss Ready to Step,
Let me preface this by saying that you are probably not going to like my response but here it is. There are three sides to every story; your man’s side, your side, and the truth. This is America and the last time I checked, people are not required to communicate with someone they do not want to talk to. Unless they have children together, which you did not mention, he has no reason to be taking her phone calls, emails, text messages, etc. She cannot bug him unless he allows it. He can simply not answer, he can block her email address, and KABOOM, she has suddenly disappeared. Taking the kind approach with someone persistent can backfire.
You need to lay down the law but not with the other woman; with your own man. Giving her a piece of your mind will only encourage her to continue because then she will realize that she has thrown a monkey wrench into your relationship. That will only give her a ray of hope in regards to destroying the two of you so she can get him back.
Also, you really do not know what your man is doing outside of your presence. The one thing that I do know is that, if he truly wants her out of his life, he can make that happen; even if it comes down to a restraining order. I wish you the best but I believe your animosity is misguided.