Monday, July 27, 2009

Loving Alone

Dear Zane,

I have been in a relationship for a little over a year now and me and my significant other have not had sex yet. This is a problem for me because before I met him, I was having sex every other day but since I love him, it hasn’t been like a determining factor in our relationship. I recently went out the country on a trip to Turkey and my trip lasted through our anniversary but when I got back, it wasn’t even like he cared. I was very upset by this but I took the whole stance of charge it to the game; he's a dude. But lately it’s like we've gotten more distant and that is a major problem because I hate feeling like I’m the only one in a relationship; he says I need to quit nagging him but it seems like he's distancing himself from me because of his past relationships with women, including his mother. How do I break the shell that he has over his heart without "nagging" him? And is it even worth trying to do or should I just move on? School is starting and I have no time for undue stress.

Please Help Me.

Signed,
Loving Alone

Dear Loving Alone,

After reading your email, I am trying to figure out the true purpose of your relationship. Not to say that sex is, or even should be everything but if you are a sexually active young lady, why should you be deprived? If he is withholding sex for religious reasons, you must decide if you agree with that. If it is something else, it would give me pause for concern.

Follow your gut instincts. Since it felt different once you got back, something may have occurred while you were overseas. I would concentrate on school and leave him alone. He is not willing to open up and he is calling you a nagger. Let him see how it feels when he has no one to nag him at all.

Blessings,
Zane

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