Getting Really Fed Up

Dear Zane,

I love your books and I hope that you keep up the good work. My problem is that I have a “husband” baby daddy. I have been with him for about four years. I have had problems with him in the past—ex-girlfriend problems. The other day, she hit him up and he did not realize that I saw it. I told him about it and he does not want anything to do with her. I believe him because she has been hitting him up by email and AIM. He blocked her completely from everything. She is getting me to the point that I am going to throw one of my Reebox and show her who I am. I am trying to better myself; she is making me go back to the same old me. Should I just leave it alone and block her, or should I take action and bust her down? Not to mention that she is married and has a family of her own but she is still trying to “hold a friendship.”

Signed,
Getting Really Fed Up

Dear Getting Really Fed Up,

If I had a dollar for every one of these emails that I receive, I would be rolling in dough. Darling, your problem is not with the other woman. She is not living with you, she has not been in a committed relationship with you for four years, and she did not father your child. Your man is the problem. If he does not want anything to do with her, he would not have anything to do with her. You are saying that he has blocked her completely from everything, so I am confused. If he blocked her, then how is she contacting him? If she cannot contact him, then what is the problem?

You definitely do not need to “bust her down.” Again, she owes you ZERO respect or consideration. Trust me, it is easy as hell to get someone completely out of your life; whether they want to leave or not. I have done it many, many times. After four years, that woman should not even know how to contact him. How long has he had his AIM I.D.? Email address? Did he accept her as a friend on MySpace? See my point. Deal with him and not her.

Blessings,
Zane