I have a problem. I am with a man who I have been through so much with in only seven months; probably more than what some people go through in a lifetime. I have gotten to the point where I am sort of sick of him. He annoys me sometimes and I have ill feelings toward him. I cannot and will not say that it is out of nowhere; it is the things he says and does. Every time I turn around, it is something with a new girl, an ex, a girl who likes him, etc. I am fed up. I realize that an underlying problem is making me feel this way. I should probably get rid of him because it is only getting worse. Every time I do break it off, I become sad. Why can’t I just let go? There are some women who say things and I encourage them to leave; yet I cannot seem to do it myself in the same situation. How do I break up with him?
Sick and Tired
Dear Sick and Tired,
You do have an underlying problem; possibly a few. Either your self-esteem is low or you crave attention so much that you are afraid to be man-less long enough to find a man who will treat you right. In seven months, he has put you through more than most people deal with in a lifetime? Yes, you need to break up with him but, this time, make a clean break. By this time, he is playing a game with you. When you tell him to beat it, he gives you some space because he knows that you will come back and, once you do, he resumes disrespecting you and cheating on you. In essence, you have accepted it and he knows it.
Only you can put a stop to this madness and you know that you need to. Even if it means going through withdrawal from this man—like he’s crack—you have to do it. Otherwise you are setting yourself up for continuous pain. Pain never lasts always but you have to do it and begin your healing process. Good luck and stick to your guns.