Satisfied and Confused

Dear Zane,

I’m a 19-year-old female currently having relations with a 47-year-old married man. He is one of my coworkers. I’m very confused about the situation. The sex is great; it’s better than what I expected. We never have to worry about being caught by his wife; she resides in another state. None of my family members, friends, or coworkers are aware of this relationship. I have no complaints toward the way he makes me feel. When we’re in public together, I feel mature but “awkward.” People tend to do double-takes at us. He wines and dines me, makes me feel special, and compliments me on a regular basis. He is not some “sugar daddy” or pervert.

He’s a great man. He never downs his wife or insults her. They reside in different states because of employment. He has a successful career and a beautiful wife. He is very positive and encourages me to do well in college and at work. I’m just not sure what he wants from me. I’m certain that his wife doesn’t engage in the freaky things that we do. We read your book and then tried anal sex, which was great. Thanks, Zane. We have also tried numerous positions and techniques on each other. I would like to know: is it safe to continue this “affair” with him?”

Signed,
Satisfied and Confused



Dear Satisfied and Confused,

What he wants from you is sex. Nothing more and nothing less. Sure, he might wine and dine you, compliment you and stroll down the street with you but you are playing substitute for his wife. Why you would want to place yourself in that position is beyond me. You are young, in college, working, and have your entire life ahead of you. He is not playing a fair game with you. He is nearly thirty years older than you and to say that he is taking advantage of you is an understatement.

I hope that you will listen to me. Nothing good can ever come from sleeping with someone else’s man; especially someone else’s husband. You said it, he has a successful career and a beautiful wife. If she was right there in town, he would probably still fuck you, if you were willing, but not spend quality time with you. You are living in a fairytale but this one will not have a happy ending. He is foolish to have an affair with a young coworker. He is risking it all in the name of lust, so he cannot be but so intelligent. Men never truly weigh the risks of their actions.
Now if you just want someone to fuck you on a temporary basis, take you out, and make you feel special, then do you. If you are expecting anything more than what it already is, or expecting it to last for a lifetime, you need to wake up and smell the coffee. He is fucking you because it would be harder for him to find a woman closer to his age to agree to what you are doing. Not impossible because some women never learn, but harder. Stop dealing with him and find a young man closer to your age. You are wasting your life on a man who is damn near a senior citizen compared to you.

Blessings,
Zane