Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Satisfied and Confused

Dear Zane,

I’m a 19-year-old female currently having relations with a 47-year-old married man. He is one of my coworkers. I’m very confused about the situation. The sex is great; it’s better than what I expected. We never have to worry about being caught by his wife; she resides in another state. None of my family members, friends, or coworkers are aware of this relationship. I have no complaints toward the way he makes me feel. When we’re in public together, I feel mature but “awkward.” People tend to do double-takes at us. He wines and dines me, makes me feel special, and compliments me on a regular basis. He is not some “sugar daddy” or pervert.

He’s a great man. He never downs his wife or insults her. They reside in different states because of employment. He has a successful career and a beautiful wife. He is very positive and encourages me to do well in college and at work. I’m just not sure what he wants from me. I’m certain that his wife doesn’t engage in the freaky things that we do. We read your book and then tried anal sex, which was great. Thanks, Zane. We have also tried numerous positions and techniques on each other. I would like to know: is it safe to continue this “affair” with him?”

Satisfied and Confused

Dear Satisfied and Confused,

What he wants from you is sex. Nothing more and nothing less. Sure, he might wine and dine you, compliment you and stroll down the street with you but you are playing substitute for his wife. Why you would want to place yourself in that position is beyond me. You are young, in college, working, and have your entire life ahead of you. He is not playing a fair game with you. He is nearly thirty years older than you and to say that he is taking advantage of you is an understatement.

I hope that you will listen to me. Nothing good can ever come from sleeping with someone else’s man; especially someone else’s husband. You said it, he has a successful career and a beautiful wife. If she was right there in town, he would probably still fuck you, if you were willing, but not spend quality time with you. You are living in a fairytale but this one will not have a happy ending. He is foolish to have an affair with a young coworker. He is risking it all in the name of lust, so he cannot be but so intelligent. Men never truly weigh the risks of their actions.
Now if you just want someone to fuck you on a temporary basis, take you out, and make you feel special, then do you. If you are expecting anything more than what it already is, or expecting it to last for a lifetime, you need to wake up and smell the coffee. He is fucking you because it would be harder for him to find a woman closer to his age to agree to what you are doing. Not impossible because some women never learn, but harder. Stop dealing with him and find a young man closer to your age. You are wasting your life on a man who is damn near a senior citizen compared to you.



Nikki said...

Been there done that no happy ending there, cut him all the way loose before someone gets really hurt.

Mode One Author said...

Good feedback Zane.

When are women going to get this? If you exchange orgasms with someone else's man ... it is inevitable that drama will ensue at some point

~It's My Reality~ said...

Zane is right...Why put yourself in the second place role. If love is what you want you will never find it in a married man. His wife come first you are just a fill in. Cut all ties...


And Zane how do we contact you if we want advice on certain situation...?

Imani True said...

Being the "other woman" rarely ends up in anything good. There are those rare instances where the man leaves his wife for the other, but again, those are rare. And why would you become the wife if you know he cheats on his wife? You have so much going for you. Why not find a man of your own? He is only using you because wifey is not available. You don't deserve that, you're too young for that. And as for the drama that will take place when things come out, trust me, at 19, you ain't ready for that!

JStar said...

Yea sometimes its all fun having an affair, but then you grow up and realize your self worth. You realize that you are better than "The mistress" You deserve to be #1 and nothing less...Yea, I've done it..Havent we all...but its not fulfilling...Your feeling get caught up and he is still with her...

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