I am only fifteen years old and while I realize that I am a little too young to be reading your books, they are so interesting to me. I do not do the things that are said in your books but they do open my mind to new things that I would like to experience when I get older. Not only that, but your books do teach a valuable lesson. Well, the ones that I read so far. I am writing to you because I am young and confused. Today’s generation is growing up so fast and they want to try all of these things because they are influenced by their surroundings. I am one of these people.
Recently, I lost my virginity to a boy that I had known for some time. I realize that is young, and everybody says this, it just happened. I am not in love with him; I know the difference between love and lust, so you could say I am in lust with him. I told him that I would not have sex with anyone else until I am eighteen. The problem is that he wants me to perform oral sex on him. I have had my vagina eaten before and it was good. I would like him to do it to me, but he has refused unless I do it also. I understand that and I do not like refusing his wishes but that’s something that I will definitely not engage in until I get married. Yet, he constantly asks me every time that we have sex.
I miss having my pussy eaten and I went to a person’s house. He did it but also wanted to have sex with me. I was not having that. I am so confused. I am not addicted to sex and I do not like doing it behind my mother’s back, but I do like it a lot. The boy is kind of older than me. I think that all of this is going to blow up in my face soon. I have a gut feeling and I am not sure what it is; it is just bad. So what do you think I should do? Cut sex off until I am old enough to take responsibility and all the extra stuff that comes with it? Or stay with my one person that I have sex with and find someone else to do what I miss?
Also, can a person that has so many sexual fantasies stay away from sex for so long?
Young and Confused
Dear Young and Confused,
Always follow your gut. It never lies. Be thankful that you have not ended up pregnant and count your blessings. You are not prepared to become sexually active. You are curious and that is normal but like you said, there is much responsibility involved. First of all, having oral sex can give you HIV. I seriously doubt that young man used a dental damn when he ate your pussy. Apparently there have been at least two who have gone down on you. The man you are with, who is older, is not going to settle for not having blow jobs. He has made that clear. Nor is he going to please you orally, which is fair. The person who is eating you out is not going to go without sex for long, either. You are playing with fire. Do not put yourself in the position to be raped. That might be the bad thing that you sense. Men—especially younger men—do not like women to play games with them sexually.
Your best bet is to concentrate on your education and hold off on sex, until you realize what you truly want. As for the fantasies question, many people start fantasizing about sex years before they engage in it—myself included. You do not have to act upon those feelings just for the sake of doing something with random men.