I just read something of yours on how to please your man. Unfortunately, that doesn't apply to me in that matter because I am lesbian. So I have a few questions for you and I hope that maybe you can help me out. First off, my lover and I have been together for four years now and the sex is slowly drifting away. We are not really turned on by each other, or should I say, we can't please each other like we used to. When I give her oral sex, I put my all into it. Sometimes she says that it was the bomb and then other times she would say that it was okay. The same goes for me. For some reason, when she is pleasing me while I am on my back or my stomach, it feels really great but I can't have an orgasm! But when I ride her face, it’s all over, because I have the hardest orgasms and it is out of this world. Now my question is, is there something wrong with my body, that I can only have an orgasm while I ride her face? Is there something that I can do to please her better, like try another technique? Also, when we try and use a dildo, (she is the male in the relationship) I can't do it. I believe it is because I have not been with a man in four years. Is there something that I can use or do to make that happen, because she likes to use it? Please help me if you can. I would really appreciate it.
The Orgasmic Face Rider
Dear Orgasmic Face Rider,
Believe it or not, this is not the first time that I have received a question like this. Another female emailed me a while back with a similar situation. She could only climax while she was riding her female lover’s face. I do not believe that there is something wrong with you. That is simply what turns you on and it could be because you feel more powerful in that position or because her tongue is able to penetrate you better.
As far as spicing up your sex life, be adventurous. Meet her at the door in fishnets, heels and nothing else. Do role-playing. Experiment with edible products. Ask her what fantasies you can fulfill for her.
In regards to the dildo, I have honestly always been confused about that when it comes to lesbian relationships but I was enlightened quite a bit when I edited Purple Panties. If it is uncomfortable for you—if anything is uncomfortable to you when it comes to intimacy—you should not feel forced to engage in it. She will have to understand unless you can find a smaller one that does not hurt you or come up with an alternative solution to a dildo.