Sunday, March 1, 2009

Another Woman's Man

Dear Zane,

I must say, you are amazing. I love your books and web site and I even watched your show. You truly helped me see the freak in myself. However, I am confused and dumbfounded by this. This past Friday I went to spend some time with a friend. His live-in girlfriend was sleeping. He has come on to me a few times before an even though I was completely feeling him, nothing ever happened but some sexual text and a secret feel-up when no one was looking.

Knowing his situation, I still wanted him and had to fuck him. I realize that was horrible of me. The other night was the first time that we were chilling without mutual friends around, despite the sleeping girlfriend. I was on my best behavior in their home, on her ground. We were having a good time but then he unzipped my jacket so my twins were showing. You get the point. I was not going to argue with him for doing it because it was what I wanted.

We made our way over to the couch to watch Entourage. Somehow, I found myself kissing him and my top was casually coming off. The entire time, I was thinking how great of a kisser he was and if he can suck on something else the way he is sucking on my bottom lip, oooh weeee. I forgot that his girlfriend was down the hall.

A sane thought had to fuck it all up so I pushed him off of me. He took me home after that. I still wanted him but I was going to try and do the right thing. When I was about to get out of the car, we ended up kissing goodbye, which led to an invitation to come inside and he quickly accepted.

Inside, I started giving him head. It had to have been goo because he busted extremely fast. At first, I thought it was a lot of precum but, either way, I continued to do my thing. None of us like a minute man. If my mouth made him cum that fast, he was not going to last in this pussy, so I kept going and reminded myself that it had barely been five minutes. Then he started telling me how he couldn’t do it and how much he loved his girl. Needless to say, I was not sucking his dick any more. He hugged and kissed me and then said that he loved me also, which was too much. He started apologizing to me. All I could say was that he had wanted it. He did not give me a clear reason but talked about his girl and how he had to go.

But how could she suddenly be the reason for stopping when earlier, at their place when she was a few feet down the hall, she had not even been an issue. She could have seen us. I turned him down at that point, saying that it was not right and if he did not want me, why did he keep pursuing me? He was the biggest tease and a guy has never done that to me. Even if he just wanted some head from me, that does not seem right because I was still going. I do not understand why he would lead me on, getting me all hot and, not just with words but with action, and then peel out on me. He allowed things to get pretty far before stopping and never seemed like he had a second thought about getting with me. If he would have never started anything, nothing would have ever happened.

Please try to help me make some sense of this. I probably should not be so worried about why a taken man does not want me, but no one has ever turned me down when I was going down on them. Thank you for your time.

Another Woman’s Man

Dear Another Woman’s Man,

Your signature line answers your question to me. He was, and is, another woman’s man. Making sense out of what happened with him is simple. At some point, he grew a conscience; something that miraculously does happen from time to time with men. He was a low down dirty dog for making out with you at his place, with his woman asleep in the next room. After he drove you home, the lust was still thriving and he got caught in the moment. Most importantly, you were a willing participant in his game. You ended up inside, sucking his dick, even though you realized it might have been up inside his woman hours earlier. It did not matter to you, so he let you suck it. Then he probably either A) realized that he loved his woman and could not disrespect her like that, B) realized that he was risking too much by trying to fuck you, or C) grew embarrassed from coming so soon and was afraid he was not be able to fuck you right. Whatever the reason, you should be glad he left and went home.

Your bigger question should be about your actions and behavior. Honestly, even though you thought the man was sexy, what compelled you to go where you did? That is what you need to figure out. I am not sure what your expectations where beyond that night, but let me try to educate you. The chances of a man taking a woman seriously who would make out with him on a sofa while his woman is asleep down the hall, who would suck his dick five seconds after hitting the door even though she knows he is in a committed relationship, and who would willingly fuck him and agree to be a mere piece of ass, are slim to none. Sure, he cannot be trusted either; that is for damn sure. He has no morals, despite the fact that he got up and left.

I realize that times seem hard when it comes to finding a good man, but the operative word is “good.” That does not mean that sisters need to resort to desperate measures and cast their self-respect out the window. He may look good, have a silver tongue, and run a good game, but that does not mandate that you fall for it. You caught me on a good day because, normally, I would be harsher with my language toward you. But, I have learned that the actions of people, in the moment that they happen, come naturally. There is something underlying that caused you to even entertain the man’s advances. You need to figure out what that is. As for him, be glad that he left. Now make sure you never travel down the road of imminent disaster again.



New Girl on the Block said...

Hello Ladies,

I agree with Zane's comments. Maybe because I'm a married woman but to me he is a dog even if he let you get that far. He basically used you for his pleasure. Since he came so quick maybe it was best that it ended before it got too far. I think you responded to the freaky side of yourself. Sometimes that is ok as long as you are willing to accept whatever the outcome may be.

God Bless,
The New Girl on the Block!

afrenchmoon said...

Owww! If you don't understandd...then you don't...but, if you have ever been in that position you know what Zane is saying is true...OWWW!

Mia said...

Hey Girl,

I'm sorry to break it to you, but I don't think he suddenly grew a conscience. I think he just came too quick (yes he must be a minute man) and he was embarrased so he wanted to get out of there as soon as possible. I know from experience. There was this guy that all my girls would talk about wanting. He was my friend and one day things got out of control and we ended up ALMOST messing around. Well, needless to say all I did was kiss him and I was about to give him head when he just came all over the place. I was shocked and he left so quick that I can't help comparing it to your guy. Oh and remember, we always want what we can't have, but when we get it, it isn't always worth it.

Hdtech said...


I too agree with Zane's comments. However, I also believe there may have been a missing possibility here in this senerio. Now I can't speak for all brotha's but, I have found myself in a coulpe of simular situations. Being in a committed relationship I have wrestled with curiousity and my freaky side on sveral occasions. It's a possibility that he might have been looking to fill a void in his relationship and initially got more than he bargined for. I believe that he reached that predrawn line for himself and did not want to cross. I think he has drawn this line several times before and will continue as long as he encounters women that will let him. He knew exactly how far he wanted it to go with you the instant that he knew you were down. Now I can't speak on the one min part but, seemingly to be embarrassing enough, if I knew that I carried that name I wouldn't be so quick to put myself in that postion to begin with!

Anonymous said...

I agree with Zane it's one of the three. You should read steve harvey's new book. Blessings

Anonymous said...

I agree with Zane's comments too, I think he was salty that he came fast. I'm a young man and If that was to happen to me, then I would have starting give u head. But maybe hey felt sorry, No body really know why he started talking about her. Maybe I just wanted some head? This might be a bless at hand... Wondering do u see him and does he act different now?

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