I'm a 20 year old college student and I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for almost four years. A year ago I started going on dates and having sex with my ex. On my birthday my boyfriend asked me to marry him and I said yes. My ex was at this party and watched the entire thing go down. I felt bad but I meant what I said. I told my ex we had to end what we were doing. He agreed but asked to just be friends. I told him that would be OK but know he calls my cell at hours or days he thinks my boyfriend will be around and tries to have phone sex or some conversations that I know I shouldn't have at the time. He has become a totally different person from the man I knew and I'm afraid of what might happen next. I would die if my boyfriend found out what happened. I feel if I tell my ex there can be no contact between us at all he'll tell my boyfriend about us. What should I do? I really need advice the fear is killing me.
No one can live their life in fear and no one should live their live with clouds over their heads. Thus you have three choices. You can either A) continue to communicate with your ex and wait for the proverbial shit to hit the fan when it finally catches up to you, B) cut your ex off and hope that he is man enough to simply walk away and not try to destroy your life, or C) tell your current man the truth, that you slipped, and that now you are being harassed by a man who is obsessed with you.
Your ex might love you but he does not want the best for you. If he truly cared about your well-being, he would let you go and move on. But you are enabling his activity by taking the calls and text messages and encouraging him to continue. If he does tell your current man everything, then that only shows his true character and establishes the fact that you should not have any involvement with him whatsoever. The choice is yours but personally, for me, option A would not even be a consideration.