Wednesday, July 11, 2012
Unspoken Desires: An Advice Question
Hello Zane, I love your books! I know the world is going crazy over the Shades Grey trilogy but those book have nothing on yours. With that said this is my issue. I been have been going steady with a young lady who is everything to me in my life. She is beautiful inside and out. She is everything this man needs and more. We do not argue and the communication is great. I grasp the concept of listening and talking to my lady. Sex is good! At first she use to like me playing with ass hole as she rides me but now she does not like it. And you know how men ask their lady for some loving. She does not like that so I stop, because she said it makes her feel pressured to have sex. So I just initiate sex by kissing her and rubbing her all over. But then when I am in initiating mode, out no where she will say:" what are you doing" and she uses that line lot and at first it would not bother me but now my wood gets limp when she says it. We have discussed it and she said I am over thinking things. She is more of a free sprit when she have a few hooks in her and sex is off the chain. But when she is sober I have to ask for oral, lick my ass or ride me backward things like that. Now she tells me she like doing these things but if I do not suggest it, it will not want happen. What should I do? Thanks Overthinkingman MY RESPONSE: You have to realize that your woman may not be as sexual as you are naturally. Having to ask her to do things means that she is either doing them solely to please you or she is uncomfortable with initiating such things. My suggestion is to go with the flow and stop over thinking the matter, like she said. You do not want her to feel like you are only engaged in the relationship because of sex or make her feel like she is not up to par sexually...not if you truly care about her. Great communication and no arguments go a long way. You may not find that in another woman so easily. I would be patient and maybe if you stop putting her on the spot, she will start feeling more at-ease and do things out of the blue to shock you. Good luck.