Wednesday, July 11, 2012
A Gold-Digging Stepmother: An Advice Question
Hey Zane, I have recently started following your page on Facebook and I love your advice and would love to hear how you feel about this situation I am going through. You can also post on facebook any advice is welcomed. I am a 23yr old woman engaged to a wonderful 21yr old man we will be getting married in less than 2months.....but his adopted mother has been throwing stones at our relationship since the beginning. Just to give you a little insight my fiance lost his leg in a train accident when he was 15, but he's still a happy, funny and loving person that doesn't let any of that bother him. A little while into our relationship he told me she was taking all of his disability check, making it seem he was incapable of handling it his self, when he's a bright young man and just trusted she was doing right by him. She handled all his business, and I give it to her she did what had to be done. But when we decided to get married she started lying on me, telling him I only wanted his money, that I had credit cards in his name, but when I met him I knew he didn't have a job and I didn't even know he had lost his leg, because when he has his fake leg on and pants you cant tell unless he says something about it. I just knew he was a great person and that I wanted to get to know him better. To clear my name even though he believed me, i looked on his credit report only to find he only had one thing on his report and it looked liked a house loan. So now we wondering if the house that she bought before I met him is in his name. There's a lot of talk about my fiance having money put away from the train accident and that's why she doesn't want him to get married. But I was here when he was broke and I treated him no differently. I really want to have a relationship with her because I love her son with all my heart, but how can I just sit and smile when she's trying to ruin our wonderful relationship? We have worked so hard, we have our own house, our wedding is paid for(with no help from his side) and that really bothers him. She treats him like a little kid and has no respect for him as a man. He has matured and respects me to the fullest, I just want to make him happy and have a relationship with his mother, BUT I won't let her break up our happy home. MY RESPONSE: It is obvious that her main interest in preventing him from getting married is financial. I would not allow her to control a thing and as a grown man, he can handle his own money. If she is somehow getting the money via mail, he needs to change the address. If she is getting it automatically deposited into her account, he needs to stop that immediately. There is nothing she can do about it unless the courts have made her his legal guardian past the age of adulthood. As far as the mortgage on his credit report, you can easily found out what that is about by calling the company listed, giving his social security number and finding out. If she did that without his knowledge, they will handle that. He should not be worried about the wedding costs because the bride's family generally covers the expenses. Just be happy that you have found a good man. A lot of women are still looking. If she wants to act a fool, that is on her and if it goes too far, I would not allow her to attend the wedding. That is your special day. Good luck.