Friday, November 28, 2008

When Your Sister Is "A Convenient Lesbian"

Dear Zane,

Hello love, feel like I know you...read all of your books!Anyway what I’m going through I never thought I would. I am a 28 year old lesbian female and have been that way for 10 years. I came out my sophomore year of college...after fully exploring the male species and determining it wasn't for me!My dilemma is my 24 year old sister.....uhgggg she has two kids who I love dearly and her children's father, although he has his faults for criminal behavior, loves her and them very much. I've actually seen him turn over a new leaf. My sister has been in and out of relationships since her children’s' father was locked up...this most recent relationship really changed her. She began dancing at a local club. She's my sister so I don't judge, just tell her to be careful. Now when she woke up from this outer body stripper experience.... she announced to the family that she was now GAY.

Nobody see's my issue with this. Zane, I am soooo tired of this bi-sexuality based on the premise that a woman won't hurt you as bad as a man. I know what the issue is with my sister. This girl she's dealing with has money and she likes to spend it on my sis. My mother got caught up in the same cycle about 12 years ago. I'm just frustrated because I feel this behavior adds to why society treats gays the way they do. We are not taken seriously because of all these "switch hitters".... You can't make yourself gay and I can't make myself straight...not even to make someone else happy. I'm not sure what guidance to give her. I was totally disgusted by her revelation. What to do, what to do?Love you , Zane!

Signed,
A Real Lesbian

Dear A Real Lesbian,

I understand where you are coming from but there is nothing more that you can do than what you probably already have. You broke it down pretty clearly for me. Your sister is dating a woman because she can use her for money and because she more than likely feels like she is in the powerful position in the relationship, a position she did not probably feel with the father of her children.

I know quite a few woman who claim that a bad relationship with a man turned them gay. I guess that if they like it, I love it. You cannot tell your sister what to do, any more than you could tell your mother. One of two things will happen. She will continue on this path and date women the rest of her life and be a switch hitter from time to time, or she will decide that women are not her thing after all and return to the dick. You cannot make that choice for her. I would just stay away from her drama and let her gain the benefits from her own mistakes.

Blessings,
Zane

1 comment:

leskin said...

I am a lesbian, and was in a relationship with a woman similar to your sister several years ago. My 'girlfriend', in the beginning, was a sweet, caring woman. I bought her gifts often, because I had a good salary. But then she got used to it, and wanted the gifts more than ME. She just used up all my money and then dumped me. What a bitch! Boy, did I learn my lesson!