I’m 20 years old and I had best friend who turned into my baby, lover, whatever you want to call him. I’ve known him for 3 years and we have been together for about 5 months. We love each other greatly. But it’s little problems we’ve been having. We recently broke up because of his parents. In the beginning, everything was fine with his parents. They claimed they loved me. His mom used to introduce me to all the family members and friends. But then all of sudden things started to change. First it was I’m using him, I think I’m too cute, I keep him from going to church, he does too much for me, I’m a demon, then it turned to I’m not decent, I don’t like to keep my hair done, it’s my spirit. I love this boy with all my heart. He even says he wants to marry me. But he says he can’t deal with the nagging of his mother talking about me and doesn’t want to get kicked out with nowhere to go. I’m currently looking for an apartment so that way we could be together. Do you have an advice for me? I just don’t know what to do.Sincerely,So Confused
Dear So Confused,
You said the operative word when you called him a “boy.” He is a “momma’s boy” to be exact and you have been perceived as a threat to that relationship. Believe it or not, there are men in their 40’s, 50’s and even 60’s in the same predicament if they refuse to stand up for what they want. His mother does not have the right to select his soul mate, even if she disagrees with his choice. His parents may have been delighted at first but, for whatever the reason, they have had a change of heart. He broke up with you because of them and thus, in essence, has already made a choice. While I admire you looking for an apartment for the two of you to be together, do not be surprised if you go through all of that trouble and he still refuses to be with you. There is a great possibility that he will remain at home and make you look like a fool. Look for an apartment for yourself because at the present time, you are not in a relationship with him. Mothers are a hard obstacle to overcome. I personally do not get into my grown son’s business nor do I attempt to choose his girlfriends. I will admit that I hope he does not get into a serious relationship right now but he is grown.
Your ex man’s mother is in a position of control so my advice is to learn from this experience, be grateful that you really only dedicated five months and realize that you are not going to be able to come between him and his mother.